When Natalie said, "Let me keep what I have and I promise to have a good attitude. I will learn what I have to and I will help others.", she was asking God to let her keep her tiny sliver of sight. She believed that if she could keep the tiny bit of sight that she had left, she could get by. Natalie was asking God to let her keep this bit of sight, and in return she would have a good attitude. Natalie would also learn what she needed to and she would help others. Personally, I have never made a deal with God. I have taken what life had given to me and I dealt with it.
I believe Natalie felt confused and worried when Jake asked her to go to the football game because of her sight. Not only was a boy asking her out for the first time, but she also could not see at night. I think she should have felt this way. How would she be able to enjoy the game if she couldn't see! She might also embarrass herself by not looking at someone when they were talking to her, or maybe by bumping into someone. I believe she was justified in feeling this way. Whenever I have to speak in front of an audience, I get worried that I will mess up, or make a mistake. I completely agree with Natalie's feelings, because I have felt them before.
Emotionally: Natalie is learning to protect herself emotionally by learning to open up. She is no longer sensitive to phrases such as "I'll see you later.". In the past she was very sensitive about language relating to eyesight. Now, she is not.
Intellectually: Natalie is learning to protect herself intellectually by learning how to use her cane with Ms. Audra, and by learning to read braille with Ms. Karen. Although she has been hesitant in the past, she has been slowly accepting the fact that she needs to learn these things. Physically: Natalie is learning to protect herself physically by taking self-defense classes with Mr. Lee. She is also learning to use her cane as a weapon. People may see blind people as weak, and these classes with help Natalie defend herself. I would guard myself just like Natalie did. I would have been in a state of shock over the fact that I was going blind. This shock would have led me to guard myself and close up, just like Natalie did. Although, I believe I would have accepted the fact that I was going blind sooner than Natalie did. Throughout the course of my life, I have switched schools twice. The first time was in second grade, and then in fifth grade. Both times caused a big change in my life. I was not only nervous, but my new schools completely confused me. I was in a completely different environment, surrounded by completely different people. However, I learned to understand and get used to my new schools. I even began to enjoy my new schools. Now, I would not want to leave. It's exactly like the fact all scientists have agreed on, nature is known to adapt.
I absolutely hate it when people ask the most annoying questions. People can ask the stupidest questions. For example, someone will provide an answer to one person's not stupid question. Then fifteen other people, ask the same question ONE AT A TIME! IT IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ON THE PLANET!!!! STOP BEING DEAF PEOPLE AND PAY ATTENTION!!!!! It's okay if one person was not paying attention and they missed what the person said, but when FIFTY THOUSAND other people ask the SAME question over and over, it gets quite frustrating. People do it every single day. I do have to admit that I do it from time to time. I happen to be annoyed by a lot of things that people do. However, the thing that bothers me the most is what I mentioned above. So, if you are reading this, PLEASE try not to do this as often. I apologize to anyone who may have been bothered by my excessive use of capital letters. Remember, this is The Feelings Center, where Gabe shows his inner feelings.
Note: This is the reason why my blog is named "The Feelings Center". I believe that Natalie's feelings about her new roommate were completely normal. She was not overreacting. Natalie knew nothing about her new roommate. For all Natalie knew, her new roommate could have been a horrible person.
This happens to me every time I meet new people. I start to wonder what kind of person these people are. I worry that they will not like me, or that I am going to hate them. Since I can speak from experience, I believe that Natalie's feelings towards her unknown, new roommate were completely normal. 1.) Books- I love to read, and not being able to visually read the words on the pages of a book would be devastating.
2.) TV-I watch many entertaining TV shows. These shows help pass the time. If I could no longer watch TV, time would go by much slower. 3.) Computers- Computers have a ginormous role in my life. I google things, I do my homework, I even watch Netflix. Computers are also in everything. Not being able to see the things on a computer would make life less fun. 4.) Netflix- I like to watch shows on Netflix because they have no commercials. It is what I do to pass the time when we are in the car, or I simply have nothing else to do. Not having Netflix would make a day so much longer. 5.) Faces- I remember people by their faces. If I could not see a person's face, then I would have no idea who they are. 6.) Colors- I love bright colors. Not being able to see blues, greens, reds, purples, etc would make life plain and dull. 7.) Handwriting-I love to see different people's handwriting styles. How one dots their i's or crosses their t's in actually quite interesting. It helps me to see how I can improve my own handwriting. If I became blind, I would not be able to see another person's handwriting, and I would also have a difficult time writing. 8.) Math- Math may not be fun, but it is essential. We use math everyday. Math teachers are usually pretty fun. If I lost my sight, I would have to do math with Braille instead of using actual, written numbers. 9.) School- I love to learn. Not being able to see would make visual learning impossible, which is how I prefer to learn. Without my sight, it would take me much longer to understand a topic. 10.) Movies- I love watching movies. I watch them not only because they are entertaining, but also because it is interesting to see what new ideas the directors have come up with. I also love to watch movies with my family. I would no longer be able to do this if I lost my sight. 11.) Music- I enjoy playing instruments. Losing my sight would make it impossible to read music notes. Therefore, there would be no way for me to play an instrument. I find playing music fun, but I would no longer be able to experience this fun without my sight. 12.) My family- I would never see my family again. I might be able to still hear them, but I would no longer be able to see them. It would make life so much harder. I would no longer me able to see the emotions on my family's faces if I could not see. 13.) My dog- My dog has been in my family for about 8 years. We have grown to love him. I would no longer be able to play with him if I could not see. I would also be unable to take him for a walk, which is actually fun. 14.) Stars- I love to look at the stars at night. The constellations, and just their sheer beauty, fascinates me. I would no longer be able to gaze up at the night sky if I could not see. 15.) NYC Skyline- I occasionally go to New York City. One of my favorite things to do is to look at the skyline when we drive back at night. To me, it is one of the most amazing sights I have ever seen. All the bright lights and just the buildings themselves would be gone if I could not see. 16.) Christmas Trees- One of my favorite activities is decorating the Christmas tree every year. when everything is done, I like to step back and see what I have created. If I lost my sight, I would no longer be able to partake in this tradition. 17.) Pictures- I love to look at pictures. I do not care what they are of. I love to see what moments these pictures have frozen in time. To me, it tells a story of its own. This would become impossible if I could not see the pictures. 18.) The Sky/Clouds- When I am in the car, or simply walking, I like to look up at the clouds. I try to guess what shapes they look like. It is one of my favorite things to do. I would no longer be able to do this without my sight. 19.) Road Signs- When I am in the car, I love to read the road signs as we drive past them. I do not know why, but they just seem so interesting. After all, without them we would have no idea where we are. 20.) Road Trips- I love traveling to new and different places. It is actually one of my life-long dreams to travel to different places all around the world. I may still be able to visit these places, but with out my sight, I would be unable to see their magnificence. Overall, I would be devastated if I lost my sight. I might still have the rest of my senses, but I would no longer be able to experience the world as I am used to. I would no longer be able to see the world. I would no longer be able to see things as others do. My new world would be completely different than the one I know now. Baltimore Institute for the Blind
3501 Taylor Ave Baltimore, MD Dear Meredith, I am writing this because I miss you guys. I miss all of the good memories we made in and outside of the hallways of Western Allegany High School. So far, I have made one new friend. Her name is Serena. She is quite strange because she only wears the color black. I am nervous and I feel like I don't belong here. I recently even got a cane to help me walk. It's hard for me accept being blind and using the cane makes it seem like I'm accepting this, but that is the last thing I want to do. I have also met JJ, Arnab, and Sheldon. JJ and Arnab are both completely blind, while Sheldon can only see through his peripheral vision. When I think about JJ and Arnab, I feel like I have it so much better than they do. It makes be feel bad about myself. It's just so hard to accept that soon I won't be able to see. At least Ms. Audra helps. She is the cane instructor here. She is very friendly. Well enough about me, how are things at home? Has anything exciting happened yet? Please respond soon. I get quite lonely here. Anyway, I'm sure that after reading this you will probably throw away any later I send to you, but in the case that you read this, I want to thank you for being a great friend. I'll talk to you soon. Your Friend, Natalie O'Reilly Student to Teacher Note: The address above actually belongs to the Maryland School for the Blind. The actual address is 3501 Taylor Ave, Nottingham, MD, 21236. I simply utilized their address for the sake of the letter written above. Their website can be found below. Website link for the Baltimore School for the Blind: http://www.marylandschoolfortheblind.org I have several examples of times when I went somewhere new and felt out of place. These examples focus mainly on different schools I have attended and visited. First, in 2nd grade I moved to a completely new school called Sacred Heart. As was to be expected, I felt completely out of place on my first day, as I knew none of the kids or teachers, and it was a completely new environment for me. Eventually, I left to go to a different school, although it was not because I felt out of place. Second, in 4th grade I visited multiple schools before I decided to go to AMBS. One of them was Saddle River Day School. I hated it. If you asked me why, I would be unable to give you an answer. I simply felt like I did not belong there, and therefore, I decided no to go to that school. Finally, on my first day at AMBS in 5th grade, I was nervous and felt out of place for about two seconds. Both the overwhelming friendliness of the teachers and the students , helped calm my nerves. I got used to AMBS pretty quickly after that. I have not regretted my choice since.
This is a basic summary of the major times in my life when I felt like I didn't belong in a place, or I did not feel welcome. Just to clarify, the picture below is a representation of being out of place. "I am a normal person. An excellent student with big dreams. A typical teenager with friends who are cool-And normal like me."
I do not believe that Natalie is feeling concieted or experiencing self-denial. I believe that the overwhelming feeling here is denial. Natalie still cannot accept the fact that she is going to go blind, and that society is going to see her that way. She will lose her sight and she must learn to accept that. However, having your sight and then losing is hard. Therefore, I can understand why Natalie has such a profound feeling of self-denial. I do believe, however, that later on in the book she will finally learn to live without her sight and accept the person she will become. |
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